From Tuesday (20/5/2008) to today, feel so terrible. I don't know why this issue can affect me that much that I have closed me heart towards ppl. My office manager (which is my aunt) asked me to go to her room as she has something to talk to me. In my heart, I already know what she want to tell me. I just told Sheila last week that I had a feeling the management gonna talk to me about my 'work performance'. True enough..Tuesday my office manager asked me to her room.
She started the conversation with my work performance has gone down.I told her I know.It is easy for ppl to say do not think of personal problem while working or not to bring work back home.But whether can do that anot,is not as easy as they use mouth to say. I told her I have no choice but to think.If I don think, the problem will be there forever. I not alone. I still have 3 young children with me. I have to think of their welfare. Then she said why I go around and tell ppl about my personal thing. *Blur* I disrespect to my Boss' son. *Blur* again. Told me that actually they want to tell me off but she tahan them back.and she din realise that she accidentally said out that they pity me as my situation now and not coz of my work performance they are satisfy of. (When a person said something not knowingly, that things he/she said is from the bottom of his/her heart)*My heart felt pain and it is very very painful.* She woke me up. I have be 'sleeping' all this while believing that ppl help me, care about me is from their heart but.... Hiaz..*Sad*
I DON'T need ppl to pity me.I DON'T need their sympathy.All I need is a listening ears and a lending shoulder but some ppl tend to like to rub salt on recovering wounds. I told myself I will prove to them. May GOD bless me and give me strength to go on.
1 comment:
Hey Cindy,
I just read ur blog & found out abt wat u have been going thru. It must be hard for u. Sometimes, wen we tell plp about our problms, some of them might not understand how u actualli feels. Sometimes wen u ask them not to spread it ard, knowily that u thought they wont tell it to anyone, but u will never know wat they say behind ur back.
I still reme, how many problems u have b4 u we divorce wif him & after.U told me once that, how ur lovely kids, are suffering from some sickness. I felt pity for u since that day. Ur still young, & had so many problems wif u..Ur aunty might not noe & understand how i felt becos she never feel all the pain like u do..But me, eventhough im younger than u, i cud feel how hurt u are.
& sometimes, wen problems keep stucking on our head, maybe they are suppose to be there..i just hope & wish u all the best in life k..Try not to tink so much during werk..rem, if u lost ur job, u will be in more problem..If u love ur kids, try to do good in ur job, so that noone will complaint & u wont have so muuch problems..
SO msg me wen ur free k..Rememebe me always, farisha (ur ex colleage)
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