Dear Blog,
Yesterday quarrelled with him again. Is it my fault again? I really don understand. Firstly wee quarrelled because if Yimei. Then after that he just left the market straight after eating. What did i do wrong? Am i wrong in believing in this world there is still love even i fell so hard and painful from Ah Long.
He is a nice guy. He willing to accept my status & kids. Am he? or am I just to naive? Am he thinking whether he should back off from me? Where is he now? Will he go and find his ex-gf or his ex- Philippine gf? Am i jealous? Why am i keep thinking of the negative point now which normally I said I tursted him? Or actually deep in my heart I'm not? Why i don feel much pain as b4. Am i giving up on the hope of him loving me and the kids? What am i to him? Just a woman that he can fuck with? SHIT..... Why am I thinking of all these? I think i getting lesser hope of being loved again. My life is just have to be without someone to love me, dote me and sometimes give in to me. Am i asking too much?
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
NEW JOB & UPDATES ON R/S
Hi all,
Times really flies. I have worked at Amasis for almost 2 months. I like the new work life. Compare here with my previous company, I find that here is more systematic and the people here are more friendly and open. The decoration of the office is very comfortable like you are working at your home. But always have to work late which my mom started to complaints that I bo chap the kids. She thinks I go out to play and not working. Siao one lor.. Am so tired after working the whole day. Shipper and agents keep chasing after me for documents. after a day of work, just want go home to sleep. Where got the strength to run about?!
3rd of April is together with Lao Gong (Alvin) for 3 months. Have already met his parents and they know I'm a divorcee with 3 kids. I really likes them as they willing to accept my kids and me. They even asked us to go ROM. haha.. Me really jam when they asked me. Only keep nodding my head and arh... orh... erh... till they give up talking to me. heez... Not don wan ROM, is don dare. and that idiot oso nv say or do anything. just using his parents to cross bridge. -.-'Anyway, now i only drag the time and see how. As i really worried he will regrets after married and i again have to go to divorce again which i don wan to go thru that again. The fear in me really strong especially when we quarrel or wat. There is one time I sms him to ask him to reconsider whether he really wants to be with me and I really suit him a not. :(
One good point of him is he will hong me and talk to me nicely after I calm down :) I told my frens that he is the only guy after my divorce makes me wants to settle down again. but fear is holding me back. and I don wan ppl to say i cant go without man. Haiz... Fan ar.. M i stupid to believe LOVE again or I should give it a try?
Times really flies. I have worked at Amasis for almost 2 months. I like the new work life. Compare here with my previous company, I find that here is more systematic and the people here are more friendly and open. The decoration of the office is very comfortable like you are working at your home. But always have to work late which my mom started to complaints that I bo chap the kids. She thinks I go out to play and not working. Siao one lor.. Am so tired after working the whole day. Shipper and agents keep chasing after me for documents. after a day of work, just want go home to sleep. Where got the strength to run about?!
3rd of April is together with Lao Gong (Alvin) for 3 months. Have already met his parents and they know I'm a divorcee with 3 kids. I really likes them as they willing to accept my kids and me. They even asked us to go ROM. haha.. Me really jam when they asked me. Only keep nodding my head and arh... orh... erh... till they give up talking to me. heez... Not don wan ROM, is don dare. and that idiot oso nv say or do anything. just using his parents to cross bridge. -.-'Anyway, now i only drag the time and see how. As i really worried he will regrets after married and i again have to go to divorce again which i don wan to go thru that again. The fear in me really strong especially when we quarrel or wat. There is one time I sms him to ask him to reconsider whether he really wants to be with me and I really suit him a not. :(
One good point of him is he will hong me and talk to me nicely after I calm down :) I told my frens that he is the only guy after my divorce makes me wants to settle down again. but fear is holding me back. and I don wan ppl to say i cant go without man. Haiz... Fan ar.. M i stupid to believe LOVE again or I should give it a try?
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