Dear Diary, today was suppose a happy day but too bad.. It ends up an unhappy day for me. After work, Darling and I went to buy presents for 2 of my friends as their bday are coming. We were shopping happily. We went to a shop to shop for one shirt for my colleague. At there, we saw a nightie very nice and he asked me to buy. I told him we wait till end of this month then buy as i know we do not left much money on hand after buying the 2 presents. But he insist that we buy it today. But in the end we did not buy because he pek cek after i keep putting it back. He walked aways angrily and after we left the shop, i went to hold his hand. I feel that initially he wanted to push away my hand but he control himself. So i explained to him again why i didn't want to buy. But he just keep quiet. Then ok lor.. So I just keep quiet and walked holding his hand. When we about to reached the traffic light, there were people blocking my way but he just keep walking til i can't manage to hold his hand. i was quite far behind coz of people blocking my way, and he just keep walking. Sad... He lighted his cigarette and stopped at the dush pin to wait for the bus. I just keep quiet to stand in front of me. When the bus arrived, he just throw away his cigarette and walked to the bus stop and boarded the bus. Didn't even bother to see whether i manage to follow up a not. When there are some space in the bus, he just move in himself. Never even to ask me. If we were ok, he will ask me to move in together with him. Me feel more sad.. Then we reached the destination, we walked but 2 ways for me to choose. One to my house and one to Angela's house. I chose to walk back to my house to put the presents and he chose to go to Angela's house 1st. When the moment we parted at the staircase beside the block, my heart is bleeding. Very sad.. that kind of feeling is like the last moment we will see each other. ha.. funny right.. he didn't chase after me or call me to check where i go. After putting the presents, i went to Angela's house intend to fetch the kids back. On the way i saw him bringing the kids back so i turned back together with the kids and go home. I keep quiet for the whole night. When i suppose to speak then i speak. Don't want to make myself feel more sad.. Do i do the wrong thing for not buying the sleep gown? I know he sayang me and want to give me a present. I know his feeling for me. I just don't want him to spend too much money on me especially we do not have too much money on hand. I sometimes really don't know what to do. Haiz... Me feel suffocated. I know he feel sad and angry that i do not allow him to buy that nightie for me.Who can tell me toward him what should I do?????
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