A question that brought me to my tears..

Today was emailing with my friend. She asked me a question that brought me to tears when i was replying her. She asked if what happen if one day Ah Long's father passed away, will I bring the 3 kids down? If she in my situation she wouldn't know what to do.
I replied her that i wun let them go if Ah long is not responsible to the kids. They want me to be fair to them, 1st of all, they must be fair to my kids. Did they remember they still have these 3 kids surname as LIM?? My kids don even willing to address them now. Kids are innocent and naive, and they are also the only human will tell you the real feeling. Go and ask my kids how they feel about their own father and their own grandfather. What they treat my kids as?? when need to act in front of ppl, then my kids are one of them. When they no need my kids, they can just ignore my kids like they nv existing in this world. i did told his dad i not going to bring them over to pai nian. I in the middle you know. I keep getting scolding from my parents, relatives and friends. They keep asking me to go to court to charge him, but i nv did. if i go, what are the family gg to say about me? Say i hard hearted, want to push Ah Long to the end of the wall, want to take revenge..all kind of nonsense will come out from their mouth. They hurt me can but not my kids. I being hurt by the father and son so many times even we are divorced. the thing they said, how i feel sad and hurt for my kids. No one can understand the pain in my heart. You are a mother too. You know when you see the look on the kids face, how heart pain i was?? tell you something, Zhouhui told me he has 2 daddy, one is his god father and one is my current bf. When i asked him what about Ah Long daddy, he answer shocked me. he told me " I only have 2 daddy.One is Blk 55 daddy and one is alvin daddy. I don want that daddy who don even bother to call and send regards to us. Think he don even remember who am i or di di and mei mei." A Primary 2 boy can said that to me. babe, you tell me how am i gg to react?? I don even dare to cry in front of my bf or any body. I just told him nvm, as long as mummy is always here for you. And you are always wanted by mummy. PAIN~~

That is when my tears start rolling down my cheek... REALLY SORRY MY PRECIOUS KIDS..

Presents from Alvin's parents

Last Sunday Alvin and me bring the kids to visit his parents and my kids stayed overnight at his parents' place as Monday 06/07/09 is holiday for students. His mom gave me a pair of gold ear-rings on Sunday and his dad gave me a gold necklace yesterday night. She told me these are for her 2nd daughter-in-law. I feel very happy coz i can see that they really accept me and my kids. They are the only boyfriend's parents gave me presents and the presents is not cheap. Even my ex-husband's father never give me any. I really feel grateful and touched by this. Thank you alot PA & MA (Alvin's parents). This is what his mon asked me to address them. happy.... But I feel Alvin still not ready for marriage. We did talk about this and he asked me don't give him stress. Give him some time. So i keep quiet. Not only he feel stress, i do feel stress oso. All his relatives, parents and friend keep asking us. Alvin only said he did proposed, is i rejected him. Argh...He said like that he win le coz all eyes will start to look at me. Sometimes i answered till i don't know how to answer. Tell them what.. Alvin not ready so how to marry?!?! Like i very desperate to marry off... -.-'