NEW JOB & UPDATES ON R/S

Hi all,
Times really flies. I have worked at Amasis for almost 2 months. I like the new work life. Compare here with my previous company, I find that here is more systematic and the people here are more friendly and open. The decoration of the office is very comfortable like you are working at your home. But always have to work late which my mom started to complaints that I bo chap the kids. She thinks I go out to play and not working. Siao one lor.. Am so tired after working the whole day. Shipper and agents keep chasing after me for documents. after a day of work, just want go home to sleep. Where got the strength to run about?!
3rd of April is together with Lao Gong (Alvin) for 3 months. Have already met his parents and they know I'm a divorcee with 3 kids. I really likes them as they willing to accept my kids and me. They even asked us to go ROM. haha.. Me really jam when they asked me. Only keep nodding my head and arh... orh... erh... till they give up talking to me. heez... Not don wan ROM, is don dare. and that idiot oso nv say or do anything. just using his parents to cross bridge. -.-'Anyway, now i only drag the time and see how. As i really worried he will regrets after married and i again have to go to divorce again which i don wan to go thru that again. The fear in me really strong especially when we quarrel or wat. There is one time I sms him to ask him to reconsider whether he really wants to be with me and I really suit him a not. :(
One good point of him is he will hong me and talk to me nicely after I calm down :) I told my frens that he is the only guy after my divorce makes me wants to settle down again. but fear is holding me back. and I don wan ppl to say i cant go without man. Haiz... Fan ar.. M i stupid to believe LOVE again or I should give it a try?

Kinda of sad

Today is my last day at KOG TNS ASIA (formally is TNS SHIPPING SERVICES). I am so surprise that my new friend from Korea in KOG TNS ASIA actually bought me a gift. Really feel sad to leave my friends here. But I have to go for whatever better for me. I finally with Alvin openly. Am really happy that can be with him as he really take care of me and my kids. But I have prepared myself for the worst. He said he ready for being a 'father' for my kids but can see that he not ready. But now i only treasure the time spending with him. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, still don't know what to buy for him. haiz... Rings or braclet? Very fan of thinking what to buy.
I just finished reading my friend's blog and found out alot of truth hiding from inside of her. Something that I was shocked to know till don't know why I feel painful inside my heart. Sometimes not that I wanna to keep the truth inside me, just can't said the truth out. I feel more miserable than anybody. Like I a nobody to him. Isn't it more worst? As a friend, after reading i feel like she watching a show on how I'm gg to fall from this relationship even that is her blog at January. I know she have feeling for him but I always thought no matter who he choose, You as a friend should be happy for him/me. If at that time He chosen her, I will really happy and give them my blessing coz i rather the ones i love and care are happy than being stuck between friendship and love. What should I do about her?? Can someone please advice me? I getting more and more scare of human beings. Thay can be so real and innocent infront of you but in their heart they cruse and scold you. Am I too naive to believe that how friends treat and behave infront of you are their true self?

Quotes for my feeling now after reading her blog:

"Best Friends Listen to what you dont say"

"Never let your friendship die because of a lie, Tell the truth"

"Friends never make assumptions about you. They never expect a reason to go out with you. In fact friends only expect you to be you!"

Updates on myself

Hi all,
Wanted to update my blog but coz of my new job I not being able to. :( Alot of things happened at my side here. happy, sad, stress etc..

Ah Long has re-married in December and going to have a baby soon this year.Was happy for him but oso worry for the baby and the wife. I really wish this time he can change his bad habits. Was being hurt by his father whom I treated him like my own father. Now then I know how he think of me all along. Sad. :( He always said he treat me like his own daughter even I have already divorced with Ah Long. Marriage is a happy thing that is being share by everyone but he instead of sharing, he asked everyone to hide the truth from me coz he worry I will go round gossiping. Am I that mean or bad? But wat's there to be gossiping abt. After all, we are already divorced. If he really treated me like his daughter, shouldn't he share this happy thing with me? I treated them with heart and sincerity but all I got is this kind of treatment. I asked myself whether am I that bad? or I did not treat them well? Why he wanna to treat me like this? I cried. Really crying out loud. I told myself I will not be the nice gal anymore towards him and Ah Long. But still I xin ruan when Ah Long told him he not able to give the maintenance to the kids. Start to think how the new born gg to survive. I find my kids lucky coz I still can work to bring them up. But that lady can't coz she's from Vietnam. Pray hard for her and the baby.

I hurt someone which I do not wish to hurt in my life. I felt terrible, but life got to go on. We still contact each other and I hope this friendship will not ended because I treasure him as much as I treasure my friends. God, please give me and him the strength to be friends forever.

I like a guy but somehow I could not be open infront of people. I like him and I have the feeling of being in the secondary life that time. So innocent and fun. Can say that I love him but I have to hide it inside my heart which I feel quite xin ku. I don noe where I stand and how should I go abt it. :( I know he got feeling for me but circumstances we both can't do anything but to hide everything in our heart. How long this gonna to last? Can someone come and tell me?

Jermine's K2 Graduation Performance Photos

A Celebration of Friendship.

Finally my princess, Jermine Lim, gonna promote to Pri 1. :) On the 21st November 2008, I attended her graduation performance at Nanyang Poly. Was worried for her that she will have stage fright. But she surprised all of us. She was performing without a single step missed and she looked really beautiful. Her character is an elf holding a needle. When I see her performing, I was touched and was thinking that my girl has really grown up. Every parents who attended cheered and clapped for their kids and the teachers of 18 NTUC childcare centres. I hereby wish to thank the teachers of NTUC Childcare Bukit Mehra Branch for teaching, taking care and loved my girl. I really appreciate it a lot. And for sure, my girl and me will always remember the teachers for their loved and care. When I download more photos from my sis's camera, I will upload again. She be going to Queenstown Primary School in another month. I prayed to God that she can adapt the environment well and enjoy her days in her Primary school life.

To Jermine (my little princess),

Mummy maybe always scolding or lecturing you, but that is for your own good and hope that you can protect yourself in school. Life maybe hard now, but I and your brother will be always there for you. Mummy will always WANT you and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself. If any of your friends said you don't have a father. Tell them that you have,just he is not staying with you. I believed your daddy still love you and your brother. Just he is busy with his life now. MUMMY LOVES YOU. *Muack*

Disappointment...

Economy down again.Don noe how many ppl gg to be retrended. End of year, every parents are thinking how to keep their job for surviving. Buying of books, uniforms, school bus fee, school fee etc.. Headache.. Searching for job but in no vain.. Life getting harder for us the low-income family. Especially to those the single parent. Really hard on them. If the ex-partner is kind enough to pay up the maintenance fee, life wun be that hard to the single parent. But sad to say, most ex-partners are heartless. Never pay maintenance money, fine. But still wanna to make the person who is looking after the children of their life hard.

Have a story to share with you all. My friend's children have been award the cdac bursary. Is the school help them to apply. When my friend's ex-partner knew about it, he made a big fuss of it. Threatening her on cancelling her long term pass, chased her out of the house, making ugly remarks, vent his stupid anger on the kids, talk nonsense infront of the kids about their mother etc... Now, even loanshark write notice on their block staircase to chase after the money he owed. Letting the children stay in fear, making this poor mother to run up n down these few days to apply for long term pass so she can continue to stay n look after her children. HDB is going to take back the house as he did not pay for so many months, i should said is years. And expect the poor lady to help him pay. He even very ya ya tell her that he will not give the maintenance money to her and he purposely one. What kind of man he is?? Just because he is a Singaporean and my friend is a Malaysian, he can anyhow bully him? Why my surrounding have all these kind of stupid, idiotic men?That include my ex-partner too.

An advice to the men, don push the women too far. When they turn their back to fight back, doesn't mean that they will lose.

Finally..Officially... SINGLE!!!!!!

Yesterday I went down to legal aid there to sign the divorce paper (that wat i thought) but when the asst. come to look for me, she told me that I was collecting for my Divorce document. I am shocked and was v v happy.. Finally got the divorce documents from the legal aid and finally a full stop to this issue. Thanks God.. :D

Cant stop smiling and laughing. Called everyone to annouce the news. They can feel the happy in me.

Missing them....

On the 30th October 2008, I'm going to the lawyer side to sign on the paper. Hope everything will go smoothly. Have already quit my job at Crusade Services and I missed the people nad environment there. Was not used of not waking up early to go to work. The laughters and memories I had there was so huan nan. But I wanna to challange myself with new things. Can't always stay there and always be a receptionist. So got no choice but to leave the place I love every much. But still, gg over there to on weekends to help them which i can still feel the family warms. Really miss them a lot. Now while taking care of me kids, thinking about my future oso. Wat i wanna do in future in order to give my kids the best? Every jobs in Singapore is not secure. M stress oso. I may or may not lose the job I currently having. But was glad that I am v much closer to my children which I always wanted. Endure.. Endure.. Endure..