I have a chat with him yesterday night after the 'great' thing in the morning. He told me he means nothing.Is all angry words.I told him thanks for 'slapping' me and then tell me that the slap is nothing but he cant control himself.
I really wonder,who m i to him?!A wife or anger bin which he angry can anytime scold and 'hit'.Happy, treat me very good.In bad mood,use bad words,harsh words to scold/say me.What!!!I'm not the old Cindy that i allows him to do these to me.Actually now I feel v relieved.He has waken me up and not at least I know there are things I have to put down even I bu she de.
I believed they will understand me in future. I will go to get a lawyer to end this problem and I'm serious this time. Can u image that now even the kids cant let me stay at that house, how big is this issue? Maybe some of you will say I stubborn, unreasonable,selfish etc..But you all will not understand how i feel when he actually told me i can go home now and pack my thing to leave the house WITHOUT the children some more!!!I can leave him,but why I chose to stay is all because of my kids.They need a whole family, n I'm trying v hard to provide them one.
Can you all understand how my heart ache when yesterday Yanshan told me she wants daddy n mummy to be together? It is like the knife is slowly percing into my heart,letting it slowly bleed to death. The kids means nothing and what they said is from the bottom of their heart.I understand.I want to let go my dignity to stay at that 'home' and give them the father and mother love. but It has come to the end..
May God blessed me for what i have decided.SHOW TIME!!!
It is time for me to do what i have to do or should do long ago..
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
"GREAT" DAY FOR ME
What a great thing to start my day today!Can u imaging how i feel that because of a $5 to have a quarrel with him and he even told me i can go home now and pack my things to leave the home alone without the kids?
Ask me to give him chance but hurt me like this.Give me hope and dash it thoroughly. That is the reason why i don dare to have hope. He hurts me v v deeply this time. = ( I don give a damm on leaving him,but what's right he has to leave without the kids? They are my life, without them is similar like without my soul. I will not give in this time and NEVER will give in.
Told me that he knows what i'm doing out, accused me that i said him being unreasonable when he asked me to do housework, told me that i told him before that if i divorce with him,I expect him to pay for the maintenance fee for the kids and me.Wa Lau~!~! When did i ever told him that. If he know what i'm doing and got edvience,go ahead and sue me or anything he intend to do.Shit!!!If i dare to do,i will not scare or worry he know and find me about this 'know' thing.
From the first day that i told him i wanna divorce, I never expect him to give me any maintenance fee.He wants to give a a gesture or a father responsiblility,is he own decision. Now staying with him,he did not give any money to me for the kids.How would i dare to think or expect him give me money after we divorce!!??
I never say he's being unreasonable when he asked me to tidy the house.When he asked me to do things,I just keep quiet.Like that also I worng.I really don noe what to do le.
Anyway,I have make up my mind. Things I should do and have to do.
Ask me to give him chance but hurt me like this.Give me hope and dash it thoroughly. That is the reason why i don dare to have hope. He hurts me v v deeply this time. = ( I don give a damm on leaving him,but what's right he has to leave without the kids? They are my life, without them is similar like without my soul. I will not give in this time and NEVER will give in.
Told me that he knows what i'm doing out, accused me that i said him being unreasonable when he asked me to do housework, told me that i told him before that if i divorce with him,I expect him to pay for the maintenance fee for the kids and me.Wa Lau~!~! When did i ever told him that. If he know what i'm doing and got edvience,go ahead and sue me or anything he intend to do.Shit!!!If i dare to do,i will not scare or worry he know and find me about this 'know' thing.
From the first day that i told him i wanna divorce, I never expect him to give me any maintenance fee.He wants to give a a gesture or a father responsiblility,is he own decision. Now staying with him,he did not give any money to me for the kids.How would i dare to think or expect him give me money after we divorce!!??
I never say he's being unreasonable when he asked me to tidy the house.When he asked me to do things,I just keep quiet.Like that also I worng.I really don noe what to do le.
Anyway,I have make up my mind. Things I should do and have to do.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Busy..Busy..Busy...
These few days were so busy till i can't even rest on my leave day. On 9/11/2007, I attended Zhouhui's NTUC childcare graduation.15/11/2007 , Bukit Merah childcare itself held graduation for K2 students.17/11/2007, Zhouhui's Primary 1 School Orientation.
Talk about the primary school orientation..On that day was oso Zhouhui and Yanshan s' kidsread programme graduation. SO RUSH!!!Pity the kids, coz they followed me for the whole day. After orientation, get Zhouhui's books,PE T-shirts & shorts,sock etc...Than bring them back for lunch. Straight afetr lunch,bring them to Bukit Merah Library for the Kidsread programme graduation. Then i went for my body check up. After that,rush back to fetch the kids. Maybe is because of the weather, around late afternoon time,having v v v bad headache.But still has to bring the kids to eat. Vomited like an opening tap that night. =(
After Zhouhui's things, then is Zhoule's birthday and he had minor asthma attack last week.Now h's feeliung better.That shall be all for today.Take care. =D
Talk about the primary school orientation..On that day was oso Zhouhui and Yanshan s' kidsread programme graduation. SO RUSH!!!Pity the kids, coz they followed me for the whole day. After orientation, get Zhouhui's books,PE T-shirts & shorts,sock etc...Than bring them back for lunch. Straight afetr lunch,bring them to Bukit Merah Library for the Kidsread programme graduation. Then i went for my body check up. After that,rush back to fetch the kids. Maybe is because of the weather, around late afternoon time,having v v v bad headache.But still has to bring the kids to eat. Vomited like an opening tap that night. =(
After Zhouhui's things, then is Zhoule's birthday and he had minor asthma attack last week.Now h's feeliung better.That shall be all for today.Take care. =D
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Zhoule's 3 years old birthday
Yesterday was Zhoule's birthday.This year he celebrated continuous for 3 days.First day, on Staurday (10/11/2007) was his chinese birthday.So he asked me to bring the kids down to Chinatown because he wanted to buy present for Zhoule.That day we went to OG to get toy train for Zhoule.He loved the present very much.Which I'm glad that this is the first time he had a 'first hand' present from his father.Last few years,he juz bought cake for him.
2nd day was my mom brought them out to play,but she got present for all the 3 kids. Haha..And my mom were complaining to me that her 3 precious grandchildren Kan Cai Tong.After that she brought them to play games and to makan. All 3 of them enjoyed themselves.No wonder they 'love' their grandmother.Hahaha.And at night, we cut Zhoule's birthday cake together.It's a waste that my parents not been able to join us
3rd day was having dinner with His father and Xiao Zhang.During dinner,i was wondering why he did not invite his youngest brother as yesterday was his youngest brother's birthday too.But i did not ask much on that during dinner. We had a big feast.Crabs, prawns, pork ribs, 2 different vegetable..But... before the food come, he smsed me whether i have money to foot the bill anot.I was HUH!!No money and yet ordered so good food or asked your dad and Xiao Zhang.Haiz..Luckily I have borrow some money from my most beloved friend-you know who you are,my dear (haha.. ;-P), orelse how m I going to pay for the food?! One very nice thing that my buddy cum sister did yesterday was she purposely after her class, delivered birthday cake that she made her own to Zhoule.How sweet of her!So we ate another birthday cake last night.
Think I have to jog more rounds to really burn away all the fat that i ate for the past 3 days.haha..
2nd day was my mom brought them out to play,but she got present for all the 3 kids. Haha..And my mom were complaining to me that her 3 precious grandchildren Kan Cai Tong.After that she brought them to play games and to makan. All 3 of them enjoyed themselves.No wonder they 'love' their grandmother.Hahaha.And at night, we cut Zhoule's birthday cake together.It's a waste that my parents not been able to join us
3rd day was having dinner with His father and Xiao Zhang.During dinner,i was wondering why he did not invite his youngest brother as yesterday was his youngest brother's birthday too.But i did not ask much on that during dinner. We had a big feast.Crabs, prawns, pork ribs, 2 different vegetable..But... before the food come, he smsed me whether i have money to foot the bill anot.I was HUH!!No money and yet ordered so good food or asked your dad and Xiao Zhang.Haiz..Luckily I have borrow some money from my most beloved friend-you know who you are,my dear (haha.. ;-P), orelse how m I going to pay for the food?! One very nice thing that my buddy cum sister did yesterday was she purposely after her class, delivered birthday cake that she made her own to Zhoule.How sweet of her!So we ate another birthday cake last night.
Think I have to jog more rounds to really burn away all the fat that i ate for the past 3 days.haha..
Friday, November 9, 2007
Performace by Zhouhui
Life getting up and down which make my heart will stop any time.Too tiring to handle all these. But what i glad that Zhouhui has finally bi ye from K2.Today i went to see his performace.It was a great show.
He looked so cute.He act as a flower.He sing and dance.After the show,the teachers brought them to the resting place to get their bag.I quickly bring the 2 younger ones to find Zhouhui. He
were so delighted when he saw us. He told us everything he do before the show start.It is a pity that i did not manage to take some photos.Coz it has so many children till i cant locate him.Hahaha...
That will be all for today.Now waiting for the school to inform us when we can purchase the vcd and i will upload some to let u all see.
Nitez~!~!
He looked so cute.He act as a flower.He sing and dance.After the show,the teachers brought them to the resting place to get their bag.I quickly bring the 2 younger ones to find Zhouhui. He
were so delighted when he saw us. He told us everything he do before the show start.It is a pity that i did not manage to take some photos.Coz it has so many children till i cant locate him.Hahaha...
That will be all for today.Now waiting for the school to inform us when we can purchase the vcd and i will upload some to let u all see.
Nitez~!~!
Sunday, November 4, 2007
Meet up with his dad
Using my free time today to write this blog. I think my life really suai as i have actually encounter 2 man that have the same thinking.No wonder is father and son..I don know i should laugh or cry.On the last blog i wrote about He wanted to commit suicide and drag the kids into our matter. Today will be his father. On Thursday night, i arranged a meet up with his father, his brother and my dad to have a talk about our. His brother could not make it as he book out from camp at a very late time. Actually I wanted to talk to his dad while the kids having dinner so it will not drag the time too late for them to go home rest but there is a bu su zhi ke that joined us that night - Him. So i did not find a chance to talk to them as I feel uneasy talking to them in front of him.
After dinner,I told them i need to go to interchange to deposit some cash to return to my friend.So that create a chance for us to have a talk about that matter. Why i choose to let his family member know about this is because they have the right to know what is going on now and show him concern, but it is a very unpleasant meet up with his dad.
After i told his dad that he thinking of commit suicide trying to surprise me, scare the kids by saying jumping down from the building and using the kids to tie me down, he told me that actually is my fault for spoiling him by giving in too much to him in the past 7 years that now he has become taking things for granted. He asked me do I remember that he has told me before i should not give in to him if it is not my fault.But i can tell you all that he did not tell me that before. All he told me is to give in to him as i should know his character. He is like that one.Don quarrel with him.Give in, give in,give in...And now the finger pointing back to me,said i spoilt him.I really give up talking to him.I just kept quiet and walked to interchange and back to home.Kept telling me to think of the kids,give him another chance,use the kids' welfare to ask me stay..I felt that what is the use and the point to talk to his dad.No point~!~!
I don't know who can i talk to now.Even trying to let his dad know,he can tell me that it is my fault that i spoilt him.I really...............no words can describe my feeling that night. I was very down from that night till now.So tired that i wish to sleep and not wake up anymore.This is so torturing..But my mentally told me i cant coz i still have my 3 bao bei s..So I have to go on my life with the 3 bao bei s.
After dinner,I told them i need to go to interchange to deposit some cash to return to my friend.So that create a chance for us to have a talk about that matter. Why i choose to let his family member know about this is because they have the right to know what is going on now and show him concern, but it is a very unpleasant meet up with his dad.
After i told his dad that he thinking of commit suicide trying to surprise me, scare the kids by saying jumping down from the building and using the kids to tie me down, he told me that actually is my fault for spoiling him by giving in too much to him in the past 7 years that now he has become taking things for granted. He asked me do I remember that he has told me before i should not give in to him if it is not my fault.But i can tell you all that he did not tell me that before. All he told me is to give in to him as i should know his character. He is like that one.Don quarrel with him.Give in, give in,give in...And now the finger pointing back to me,said i spoilt him.I really give up talking to him.I just kept quiet and walked to interchange and back to home.Kept telling me to think of the kids,give him another chance,use the kids' welfare to ask me stay..I felt that what is the use and the point to talk to his dad.No point~!~!
I don't know who can i talk to now.Even trying to let his dad know,he can tell me that it is my fault that i spoilt him.I really...............no words can describe my feeling that night. I was very down from that night till now.So tired that i wish to sleep and not wake up anymore.This is so torturing..But my mentally told me i cant coz i still have my 3 bao bei s..So I have to go on my life with the 3 bao bei s.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
What kind of man is he!?!?
Sometimes i really don know what is in his mind.Yesterday night i had a talk with him.Did not talk to him still OK,after talking to him i feel like giving him one slap to wake his mind up.I cant believe a man cum father will do this idiotic thing/or i shall say planning to do to his children.I am very very angry.How he wanna to do about our issue i don give a damm..but why he has to drag the children in!?!?!?Purposely tell the children I don't want to be together with him,behave stupidly in front of the children.Let the children live in fear.Is this wat a father should do?!?!
To him i really GAN BAI XIA FONG..Even now when i think of the things he told me last night,i am still angry..IF you were a father or man,will you tell your wife that you intend to hang yourself up in order to give her a surprise??Will you behave in front of your children that you open your house gate and wanna to jump down while i working and let the children scared out their wit??Purposely telling your children about the problem between you two inorder to use them to tie your wife down?Why got to involve the children while they were just 6,5 & 3 years old?I really give up..This is the worse guy i ever seen in my life.I really cant believe it.
After doing idiotic things,then come said sorry and said if now he wanna change,is still not too late.But he keep saying sorry like it contains no meaning.Everytime like this.Say, I also know how to say.The thing is he has to show me that he really wanna change and not use mouth.Hyprocite~!~!
To him i really GAN BAI XIA FONG..Even now when i think of the things he told me last night,i am still angry..IF you were a father or man,will you tell your wife that you intend to hang yourself up in order to give her a surprise??Will you behave in front of your children that you open your house gate and wanna to jump down while i working and let the children scared out their wit??Purposely telling your children about the problem between you two inorder to use them to tie your wife down?Why got to involve the children while they were just 6,5 & 3 years old?I really give up..This is the worse guy i ever seen in my life.I really cant believe it.
After doing idiotic things,then come said sorry and said if now he wanna change,is still not too late.But he keep saying sorry like it contains no meaning.Everytime like this.Say, I also know how to say.The thing is he has to show me that he really wanna change and not use mouth.Hyprocite~!~!
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