Yesterday incident...Scared the wit out of me...

Hi everyone, long time did not update my blog..Life getting fine for me.We seperated for about 2 months and it seem that the children and i are getting used without him.
I realised my temper getting worse. Whenever i scold them, i will scream at them and everyone stay near my blk will start to come out and look with the crazy woman screaming.Haha..
Like yesterday, i was so angry that i nearly cane the 2 elder ones.They ran downstair by themselves without letting me know. Really scared me..When i came out from the kitchen after making hot the pasta sauce, i did see any of them and also cannot hear their voice at the corridor.So i ran all the way downstair by staircase to look for them, calling their names and no responds from them..So worry..My heart was like jumping out from my mouth. I start to pray that nothing will happen to them as outside my blk is the carpark and most of the cars that come into that carpark normally don use their eyes to check whether people are crossing or wat. So scared that they will dashed out to the carpark to pick up their things. When i reached the 1st floor, i looked around and can't see them. So i called up to Yimei to check with her whether the kids are back to home.Luckily she told me they are back and really relieved to hear that they are safe but then, my anger coming up when i took lift up to 10th floor.Keep telling myself to cool down but just so angry..How can they just run downstair by themselves and this time is without asking my permission?!
When i saw them, they start crying (i haven even open my mouth). That made me even more angry with them. I scolded them and i told them since they like to run downstair by themselves or go out without my permission, don stay with me. I don allowed them to come in.After i stepped in the house, I closed my gate and locked it. They cried and said Yanshan start apologising to me. I told them to keep queit because it is their fault this time and made me really angry.I told them since they all don want to listening wat i said or teaches them, then forget it..don call me mummy or tell me they want me. After i cooled down and my friend explained that it was her son brought them down, I asked them whether do they know what wrongs they done to make me so angry and worry? Yanshan apologised to me again and told me that she should not followed the brother to go down by themselves. I allowed her into the house, but that Zhouhui very stubborn.He don want to admit that it is his fault to bring the sister downstair by themselves. So i let him alone stayed out for half an hour.
I can see that he 不甘愿that I scolded him because his reason for going down is to pick back his ball. He do not think it is wrong for him to go down without asking me or do not know the danger for him to go down alone. after he auto told me he is sorry for making me angry, i let him in and explained to him.it is not wrong to pick his ball back but it is wrong to go down by himself and without telling me.also it is dangerous if he runs out to the carpark to pick his ball and a car knock him down. I want to let him know is that not that i like to scold him but I'm treasuring him alot and I do not want to lose him. he hugged me and apologised again. He promised me that he will not do it again, and now i waiting to see if he gonna keep his promise to me. :D

Happy Chinese New Year

Happy New Year Everybody~!~!

I know that this wishing is a bit late but better than never wish rite? ;P
This year new year to me consider a different celebration.More relax, all relatives showed concern to me and the kids.Really appreciated, everyone.Really thank you..

1st day of Chinese New Year:-
Morning went over to his/his dad house but a sad thing is that he's not at home for the kids, which the kids abit disappointed.. But nevermind, at least I have done my part. Stayed over for 1 over hours, He called his dad to check whether the kids were there anot, and asked his dad to inform the kids he going to have the lion dance at his dad's house. Asked the kids to wait. I told the father to let him know that we will wait for him but waited till 1.30pm, he stil have not reach so I told his dad that I have to go off as it's really late and my parents were chasing after me so bo bian... When we boarded the bus then we saw his lorry passed by the bus stop but think already late as we on the bus and the time don't allow me to bring the kids back.After we reached my dad's house, we went to my 2nd uncle's house for Chinese New year and celebrated my 2nd uncle's 60 years old b'day.

2nd day of Chinese New Year:-
In the morning I was still thinking where to go.Called several friends but they were not free.But..Heez.. Yenling, Josephine and Yimei came over my house and I last minute prepared steamboat for all of us. After lunch cum dinner, we played mahjong and that how I passed my 2nd day of new year.

Today:-
Start work lor...Sianz....After work went to Peter's house and had lunch there. After lunch, we played poker (21 points).There I lost $20.00.. This year not very 旺年to me.Kept losing money..Hahaha...After that went to my Da Yi's house, 5th Aunt's and Godma's house.Heez..

HAPPY NEW YEAR again!!!!

Surprise gift by Lifen,Photos of the bao beis..

These are the latest photos of the 3 bao beis..Grow up alot rite??Heez...

Yesterday I went to meet up with Lifen and Laykwan to have a short gathering. Am surprised that Lifen actually went to bought a small cake to help me celebrate my b'day.really sweet of her. I did not expected that this year b'day i will have a cake, coz the kids are still young and my family side they normally will have dinner without cake.This really a great and surprise gift that my this 12 years friend gave me.Wanna share with them but the cake really a small cake that enough for me to eat only..Hahaha..Wanna them to join me to the fatty bong bong club but....hahah..

After the meet up with Lifen, I went to do facial and body massage with Laykwan. The atmosphere and the service there really bagus..*thump up*Heez.... Have signed up a package with them,so has 15 sessions to pamper myself in this year. Heez... :P This is the present i gave to myself.

B'day....

Today is my b'day.Waiting for my presents but seem that it had been forgotten by people.My told it my b'day today and they wishes me.Touched...Two of my girlfrens sms and called me to wishes me.Thxs girls...Sad thing is my best buddy actually forgotten my b'day.SO angry.. :(
Haha...Just joking..

Anyway, Happy Birthday to me...My wish is that I can settle my current problem asap.

B'day celebration & Love turn to HATE!

On Saturday, 19th January 2008, my friends celebrated my birthday for me in advance. And my mom agreed to help me look after the kids in order for me to enjoy myself. After work, i met up with them. We went to Eminent Plaza there to have our dinner and after that, we went to KTV.Were drank that night..Haha.. Around 2am, one of my friends send us back and another girlfriend of mine were drank too. So I asked her to stay over night with me. My friend sent us up to my house and coz of worry about the 2 drank women (;P), he stayed over night to looked after us.So paisei.. Had a great night but....

On Sunday, 20th January 2008, Ah Long came home in the morning to get his stuff. He saw my friends and they even greeted him. Nothing happened while he at home,but when we reached my void deck, he stopped my guy Friend and wanna him to take out the IC to copy down his particulars.My friend don want and he called the police to settle this issue. He think that Singapore police very free. Got interest to interfere this matter. Stupid.. He wanna make thing big, I will do so. Talk to him nicely, telling him that before he moved we had an agreement,why got to make things worse. He said where is the agreement and he never signed any thing so whatever we said is not valid. Want to use this kind of method, fine..I shall use law to talk to him in future and whatever He wanna do or wat, I will ask him to sign. He wants black and white mah..I can do things to the extreme too..Never look down on a woman, especially a woman who get hurt and is a mother. She will do anything to protect herself and her children. He has slowly build up the hatred inside me towards him. That is the least thing that I want in my life.

HIM HIM HIM!!!!

Hi! This morning should be a great day for me but He spoilt my day again. Sianz... He called me early in the morning asking where is his pair of lion dance shoe.I told him I do not know where is the shoe n he start accusing me for throwing his thing without asking him. I told him I did not throw but he ignored me and start to use the bad words to scold me. Right after he finished scolding me, he hang up my call. Argh~!~!~! So angry leh... I called him and I told him again that I did not throw the shoe away. Why cant he talk peacefully? Why he has to assume and accuse me for throwing away the shoe? Argh!!!!! :-@ He just answered me that 'You didn't throw, didn't throw lor' and hang up my call again..Damm pissed.. I sms him that he don have to find anything from my place,just take it that I throw away. And he don have to ask me about that pair of shoe anymore coz I have asked my mom if she manage to find the shoe at the shoe rack,just throw it away. Since he want to accuse me, I might as well do it. Very pissed off that the things I did not do, he insist that I do..Then fine...I will do it. At least like that I get scolding I will not feel that bu gan xin..

Last few days were so peaceful and things getting quite well for me.And this idiotic man got to spoilt everything again. He bad mood, he stress or whatever it is, that is his own bloody f...ing business. Don't have to take it out on me. He said starting from this month he will start giving the maintenance money to me, but today is already what date!?!? He wants to act gong, I will not let him to do that..When together he makes my life that miserable. Now we seperated, he again wants to make my life miserable?? HA!!! I will not allow him to spoilt it again..From all these things, I really very very glad that I have decided to leave him..This will be my best decision I make in my life. I have prepared myself to fight this battle against him. I shall let him see how well and good my life is without him..That the goal for YEAR 2008.

Goals??Wishes??

Latest photo of them..Taken on 24/12/2007 (Yanshan b'day)

Year 2008....What are my wishes? In the past, I will always think what my goals and wishes for a new year.This year is different.Lack of the feeling for all these goals and wishes..Maybe too tired le ba.Year 2007 is not a very good year for me.Mentally and physically tired.

My only goal now is to bring up the children, give all my best to them. Zhouhui is doing quite well either in his Primary 1 or the life he is in now. His ex-tuition teacher (for 4 lessons only.haha..) feedback to Martha (my social worker) that he likes to learn new things and study. Below is the attachment that Martha email to me:-
Just have a favour to ask of you. See if you can get additional tuition help for both Andrean and Zhou Hui. They are good kids, willing to learn when well motivated. On my last day with them, I was surprised that both of them had refused to go home though their family members were there to pick them up. Instead, they were both happily copying and writing words that I had either left on the white board or they were interested to write about. I see that they have the interest to learn and this must continue to be nurtured. Especially Zhou Hui, he is hardworking and willing and actually, I think he is quite self motivated to perform well. As for Andrean, he needs someone to guide him but given the correct circumstances,he can manage quite well.

After reading it, I feel so proud of him. Even till now when i tell people about it,they all realise my face expression is different..Heez...

Yanshan feels better now about the divorce thingy. Glad that she's feeling better coz she has affected by this incident alot. Still can remember she hugged me in one Sunday morning and cried.It still breaks my heart when i think of.

The most least affected is Zhoule.Hahaha...He still din notice that his father has moved out even he heard him n the brother mentioned before. Maybe is because he is still young, still don understand what has happened. Now I am trying to let him know bit by bit.trying not to let hurt him or wat.

I will not what the children are thinking.So now whatver I'm going to do or tell them, I have to be very careful. We are getting closer everyday, every hours, every minutes we spend together and I treasure it alot. Many thanks to my family members and friends. They give me alots of support these few months.Also my current company, the bosses help me alot by giving support and let me take leave or time off if i needed to.Many many thanks..