Stress

Today is the last day of April and also the starting of Zhouhui's exam. Really depressed and somehow I cant take it. Zhouhui keep sleep-talking at midnight, begging me don force him.He really don noe how to do. Start crying said he want to study but don understand the words. What should I do? I cut down the revision time with him in order that he will not feel that stress. But this matter somehow don't works. Feel so heart pain.. What should I do? How should I do? I really don noe.

Mixed feeling

Wow~! Being living alone with Bao Bei s for 4 months le. Somehow rather I enjoy and love my life now.Even thought is quite tiring and stressful, but i really enjoy the process of the grow up of my 3 Bao Bei s.. Our bonding are more stronger than before and they are so sweet and understanding.I really LOVE them.
Zhouhui's mid-year exam coming.I was stressfu over this. Got lots of bad feedback from his teacher,said that he did not concentrate when studying, spelling very weak, chinese oso weak etc.. Haiz.. Maybe because of me n Ah Long thing affected him. He has a very high ego and pride. That is very bad as I cant let what I taught him to go inside his memory. N I know he oso under alots of pressure. So sorry dear boy.. I do not need him to get high marks.I just want him to put in his effort. Even if he failed after he tried his best, I will not angry or scold him.But... Haiz... He got what his father has.
I hope I can let him understand what I'm trying to tell him and let him put that in mind.I do not wish to have another Ah Long. This little' Ah Long' I can leave him, so I hope things will be better for him from now on. Please bless him..

Worries..

Times really flies..Now preparing for Zhouhui's mid-year exam. Last night he sleep-talking, now i I don noe whether is it I'm giving him alot of stress.I feel so heart pain. Even thought I know it is no choice and he has to go thru this but still I thinking why Singapore got to make the children so suffering. This year is Zhouhui, next year will be Yanshan..I so worry about them.Haiz..
Life is better for us.Still got lots of worries..Like money, stress level the kids having, whether I'm giving enough attention to the kids anot..Being a single parent not easy but I working very hard to be the best that I can give to them.Hope things will be better for the kids.Me really worries... =.=..God bless the children..Praying sincerity.

Healthy Fruit Juice

Dear Friends,

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It's definitely worth a try.

Please email to me (cindyloke83@hotmail.com) or leave a comment here.

Cheers..

Thoughts..

Last few weeks were really busy busy for me. I intend to stop working part time on weekends.Wanna to spend more times with the kids plus my body getting weak. Always having giddy spells. Will still help out sometimes but not everyweek le.Just too tired and miss the time with my kids. :) I think they will be very happy if they know that I can spend more time with them. Looking forward to spend times with them and my family. Yipee!!!!!!

Walk by faith, not by sight

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite of Passage? His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN.
He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own. The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man!
Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm. We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, God is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him.

This is one of my friend emailed to me yesterday. I have actually lose my faith in God, not only in my own religious. I do not want to put my fate or hope on them as i feel that I can change my own fate and the hope I hoped, I have to work hard for myself then it can come true.That has nothing to do with the God. After reading this and reflected myself, I realised that eventho it is true that I have the ability to change, but God is still with me whenever I needed the advice. I decided to re-built my faith on God but now I don noe where should I go. I fear of losing faith again. Haiz..How to built back the trust i used to have in God and people? *Sigh*

Stupid of me.. *Angry*

Last week Ah Ping came to Singapore for renewing VISA for Alex boy boy, also I introduce my insurance agent to her as she like to get a saving policy. After the meet up, we (Ah Ping, Gary, me, Alex boy boy, Jerome & Jermine) went to have supper. We were chatting about some issue regards my new friends I know from internet and from friends. Don know why we talk about that idiot (Ah Long). Gary know about what that idiot scolded Ah Ping that time before my birthday in Year 2007 and what he said about Ah Ping personality. So Ah Ping told us that actually she and her husband, Jack, became like this is partically coz of Ah Long. She said Ah Long at that time kept calling her and asked her over for dinner.Asked her what she doing, have she taken her meal yet.When he called Jack to check whether he would like to play mahjong, he also asked him what is Ah Ping doing,have to taken her meal, this and that..WHAT THE HECK!!!!! My hatred towards him increased. I as a wife to him at that time, he never even asked me am I feeling better even I'm sicked, he went to ask other ppl's wife for f***!!!! I angry with myself for being so stupid to believe him whole heartedly that he will never betray my trust on him.
Then yesterday I went to find a friend of mine at Terminal 3. I told Mandy about this. She gave me another reason to prove that I being stupid to trust that idoit again.But this time involve with another person, A. His so-called god sister. She told me that A told her batch of friends ( Her husband know them) that she had an affair with that idiot before and has being on bed too..*disappointed* *sad* *angry* But there are a lots if ?s in this. I can't figure our why she go and tell them. And also why she mentioned his name out. But they don noe who is Ah Long and me at that time, so they wouldn't any how spread rumours. Aiyah...Lots of questions coming to my mind.So pek cek..Decided to call up A to ask her and just smsed her to ask her to call me.
Me really so stupid..Always let ppl betray my trust on them, now even my own husband betrayed me. Like he always says 人在做天在看. I will see how the heaven going to 'take care' of him. :)