Thoughts...

Yesterday was a very hard day for me to pass. I cried for the whole day. I was sad, angry and disappointed. But it will be over soon. I have told all my friends that I have no feeling for him and actually I have prepared myself to hear from him that he has another girl outside. But what I did not expect is it could actually feel so hurt and painful.Alot of things passed thru my mind yesterday. Why he ask me to give him another chance while he actually courting another woman at that time? Why he said he still loved me when he actually got feeling with another girl? He blamed me for applying PPO, blame me for not giving him chances but he did not realised that i have given to him and he waited until the day we put a full stop to our relationship then explain why he do it,why he no money. He said if I still have feeling for him or wat, I will drop the case but he still did not know the real reason why I apply for it. He even said that if I still got feeling, I will not without going to bed with him for so long. And I'm wondering is this a valid reason for him to find another girl. Not only the man need,the woman oso need it. When we having problems and did not have it during that period, he can so easy and find another girl. We haven even divorce, he already betray the the last trust I have in him. So much so much went thru my mind. Wo bu gan xin coz what the girl done for him, I actually did for him before and even more than that.

His brother once told me before that if I leave him, he will not survive. Now I want to tell his brother that he will be very well taken care by this girl coz from my side here, he has learn hot to appreciate his gf/wife.

In the past if he like that, I will totally break down but not the now me. Like I said, I giving myself this week to cry over this thing. After this week, I may still feel hurt but it will be totally over. Life is full of ups and downs. I take all these downs as a path I have to go. Once I pass the hard and difficult path, my path will be smooth and beautifully.